How often have you felt EXCITED to make a big change in your parenting style or routine, only to face resistance from your kids?
Frustrated and discouraged, you might have given up entirely, wondering if things will ever improve.
This is where Kaizen comes in.
Kaizen, a Japanese philosophy of continuous improvement, teaches us that transformation doesn’t have to come from big, dramatic shifts.
Instead, it’s about focusing on small changes and simple adjustments that, over time, lead to long lasting outcomes.
It became widely popular after World War II when it helped rebuild Japan’s economy. Companies like Toyota adopted Kaizen to refine their processes and bring consistent progress rather than drastic overhaul.
Parenting is overwhelming at times, but Kaizen shows us that we don’t have to fix everything at once.
It’s all about the compounding effect—the idea that tiny, repeated efforts can lead to extraordinary results over time.
Example if you want to boost your child’s confidence.
Start with just 5–10 minutes a day of focused, specific praise. Maybe they shared a toy, completed their homework, or helped around the house.
At first, it might feel like such a small gesture, almost too small to matter. But let’s break it down:
- Over a week, that’s 35–70 minutes of intentional encouragement.
- Over a month, it grows to 2–4 hours of your child hearing what they’re doing right and feeling seen.
- Over a year, you’ve invested 40+ hours into building their confidence and reinforcing their strengths.
Over a period of time, your child begins to recognize their strengths. It will gradually build their self-esteem.
Here are the 7 philosophies of Kaizen that can help you to be a better mom:
1. Continuous Improvement | Small Wins, Big Results
The heart of Kaizen is the belief that you can always improve. You need to make small adjustments daily that make your life better over time.
For moms, that could mean tweaking a bedtime routine, finding a new way to handle tantrums, or just being more present.
Example – Masaru Emoto, a Japanese author and researcher, proved when you prepare food, the energy of your thoughts, emotions and feelings gets transferred into the food. When someone eats that food, it influences their mood and thought process.
I am a big believer of energy healing so while preparing food for my son, I say affirmations such as, you are peaceful and calm, there is a deep loving bond between us, you take accountability for your life, you love to eat healthy food etc….
I began practicing this a few months ago, and I can see minor changes in his behaviour, no major breakthrough has happened yet. I however am sure that with time these affirmations will become our reality.
2. Involve the Whole Family
Kaizen isn’t a solo effort. It’s all about teamwork. Which means that in the workplace, everyone from the CEO to the frontline worker have to compulsory contribute ideas for improvement.
At home, this means involving your spouse and kids to come up with ideas for the areas in which you are struggling or just to improve the overall functioning of the household.
Example – It is a task for me to make my son clean up his room, so this morning I asked him that I am struggling with making him keep his room tidy, what idea does he suggest to make it easy for both of us.
He did not give any idea because he was upset. I had refused to buy him new shoes that he wanted, until he outgrew his current ones.
But I will ask him again when he is in a good mood. This was the first time I have asked him to give me some ideas for something I am struggling with. So he is not used to being part of the problem-solving process.
But I am sure if I keep on asking him repeatedly, he will eventually get used to this approach. Over time, he may feel more motivated to suggest helpful solutions.
3. Fix the Process, Not the Person
How many times have you caught yourself blaming your kids or yourself when things go wrong? Kaizen teaches us that most problems aren’t about people. They’re about processes.
Instead of getting stuck with what is wrong with you, your spouse or kids, analyze your current routines or systems and figure out how to make them better.
Example: Making my son go to bed early used to be a struggle for me. Whenever I asked him to sleep, he would keep playing, and I thought he was just being rebellious.
Then I realized that my late-night work habits were affecting his sleep schedule. Since I often worked late, he would stay up too.
The main reason I stayed up late was my afternoon naps; I had become addicted to them. To fix this, I decided to stop taking naps altogether.
Instead of working late till night, I would try to finish my work at my afternoon nap time or by getting up early in the morning.
Now, I turn off the lights by 9:30 p.m., which makes it clear that it’s time for bed. This change has made bedtime much easier for both of us,
4. Start Small, Stay Consistent
Big changes are often hard to stick with. Kaizen is all about small, incremental improvements. Over time, these little shifts can lead to huge transformations without the overwhelm.
For example:
I had learnt in one podcast that the content we consume acts as raw materials for our thought,
Our thoughts become our self-talk and spoken words,
Our words become our beliefs and attitudes,
Our attitudes become our daily actions
Daily actions forms our habits
And our habits forms our destiny.
Which means if you want to change your destiny, you need to change the content you consume.
So, I have made it my goal to encourage my son to choose empowering content over mindless stuff while having his screen time.
I knew that changing everything at one go will backfire. So, whenever my son would have his screen time, I would remind him to choose empowering content.
I have been doing this for 3 months, and honestly I am not successful in changing his content choice habit completely. He still chooses mindless content sometimes, but week by week his choice is getting better.
All I did was planting the seed, and water it by reminding him everytime he watches the screen.
I am confident that with time he will be very mindful of the content he consumes.
Also, I too model it. I am very finicky about choosing good content, no mindless entertaining stuff for that does not add value to my life.
5. Solve Recurring Problems with the “5 Whys” Technique
All of us face these recurring challenges – tantrums, bedtime battles, or kids refusing to help with chores.
Instead of working on the symptoms, Kaizen encourages us to dig deep and find the root cause of the problem.
That’s where the “5 Whys” technique comes in.
Here’s how it works: Example I find it difficult to make my son keep his toys after playing.
State the problem clearly.
My child refuses to put away their toys after playing.
Ask why it’s happening.
Why? Because he feels overwhelmed by the mess.
Ask why again.
Why does he feel overwhelmed? Because he thinks he will have to clean everything up all at once.
Keep asking “why” to dig deeper.
Why does he think that? Because I haven’t shown him how to break the task into smaller, manageable steps.
Uncover the root cause.
Why haven’t I shown him this? Because I assumed he’d figure it out on his own, but now I see he needs guidance.
Solution: One day, I decided to try something new. Instead of saying, Clean up your toys, I told him let’s break the big task into smaller tasks. You can start by picking up all the blocks first.
Once the blocks were on the 2nd shelf, I said now let’s put the cars on the 3rd shelf. Then the colors, paints etc.
Now the resistance around keeping toys has reduced significantly. It’s not completely eradicated, but reduced nonetheless.
6. Put Your Child’s Needs First
Kaizen reminds us that every improvement should serve the customer’s needs. In parenting, your “customers” are your kids.
This means understanding what truly matters to your child and making thoughtful, small adjustments to meet their unique needs.
Focus on what makes your child thrive, whether it’s structure, freedom, or emotional support. Then create that environment, so that your child’s growth can be fast-tracked.
For example, if your child thrives on routine and predictability, you can work on creating consistent daily schedules. This might include set times for meals, play, study, and bedtime, which helps them feel grounded and in control of their day.
On the other hand, if your child values flexibility and independence like my son, then small changes like offering them choices can be helpful.
Instead of telling my son what to do, I usually let him decide between two activities, such as, Would you like to eat first or clean up your toys? This simple freedom of choice gives him a sense of autonomy along with making sure that tasks get done.
7. Respect and Value Your Kids
Kaizen is built on respect for people, and the same applies to parenting. When kids feel respected and valued, they’re more likely to cooperate and communicate openly.
One of the best ways to show respect is by active listening. By this I don’t mean that just physically you stop doing what you are doing, make eye contact, and listen.
Doing this is important, but keep your mind also open. There are certain subconscious tendencies that can distract you from listening mindfully. Here are some of them:
Analyze yourself and find out your distractions. Work towards correcting them, it will help you focus better on what your child has to say and experience meaningful communication with them.
8. Use Visual Tools to Stay on Track
Kaizen often uses visual tools, like charts or boards, to track progress and make tasks more manageable. These can be used at home too.
Example: I don’t have any chart to follow progress, but I have hung these positive affirmations in my son’s room.
Let me tell you what happened after I hung these affirmations. For nearly three years, in the PTA meetings his teacher had consistently told me that he gets distracted easily.
However, six months after putting up the affirmations, I attended another meeting, and for the first time, his teacher said that he is a very calm and focused child.
This feedback immediately made me think of the affirmations I had placed in his room. It felt so good to see that these positive words were having an impact on his behavior.
10. Celebrate Small Wins to Overcome Mom Guilt
Many moms struggle with guilt. Feeling like we’re not doing enough or that we’re falling short in some way.
Kaizen’s philosophy of celebrating progress over perfection can help you overcome this.
Kaizen shifts the focus away from what we didn’t do and onto what we’re doing right.
If you improved bedtime even a little, that’s a success. If you stayed patient during a meltdown, that’s worth celebrating too.
You’ve Got This, Mom!
In your quest to become a better mom, following the principles of Kaizen can help you go a long way.
Focus on improving just 1% each day, and over time, you’ll come closer to being the mother that you always wanted to be.
